We can assess an event or outcome from several different perspectives such as from our own perspective, from the perspective of another person and from the perspective of an independent observer which is often very useful. John Grinder and Judith De Lozier referred these perspectives as perceptual position. It provides a balanced approach of thinking about an event or outcome. It gives room for developing new understanding and creating new choices in case where there is little or no understanding or progress.
Let's have an overview on three perceptual positions:
First Position
You see, hear, feel the situation through your own eyes, ears and feelings. You think in terms of what is important to you and what you aspire to achieve.
Second Position
You step into shoes of the other person and experience ( see, hear, feel ) the situation as if you were in that place. In this case you think in terms of how this situation would appear or be interpreted by the other person.
Third Position
You are a detached observer and you experience it by standing back from a situation. Just like a third person you see, hear and feel yourself and other person in your mind. You think in terms of what observations or advice and what opinion would someone provide who is not involved. Above all you need to be in a strong resourceful state with an objective view of your own behavior and look for a good chance of responding differently in order to get a different and positive result.
Sometimes there is a chance of getting stuck in one of these positions:
Someone who lives in first position would tend to focus on his/ her needs rather than other needs. Their attitude is mostly a self-centered one. Addicts see the world from first position.
Someone who lives their life in second position, always thinks about other person at the expense of their own needs. Addiction situation or co-dependents or enabler in a dysfunctional well suit this description.
Someone who lives their life in third position, is a disinterested observer of life who always look in by being an outsider.
In our daily activities, it is essential to cycle through three position consciously or unconsciously since these positions are of equal importance.
